Suffering from the Shoulda Coulda Wouldas?

March 29, 2018

We've all seen it. Brad, the 35 year old bald guy sitting at the end of the bar in his letterman's jacket talking about the hail Mary pass that took the team to the state finals. If only he wouldn't have blown his knee out he'd be retiring from the NFL and married to a Kardashian by now. 


Totally, Brad. Us, too. 


I may have gotten my degree from WebMD but Brad is suffering from the 'shoulda, coulda, woulda's' (SCW) and the only cure is a heavy dose of 'wake the fuck up'. 


See, Brad is not alone. I, too suffer from SCW from time to time and maybe you do, too. 


Here's the definition of SCW: adv., adj. noun, etc. is caused by living in the past and dwelling on things that were never meant to happen but somehow you've convinced yourself that life would be so different. You would be the better version of yourself had something in the past changed the entire trajectory of your life. 


There are so many moments in our lives that we hold on to. From the time we're small to who we are today. We carry these memories with us and remember the people we were when they happened. When we start to think too long about who we were we become trapped in our minds. We create these false realities and start comparing them to our actual lives. If we dream only about what we could have been - we will spend our entire life chasing a figment of our imagination. 


I've spent a lot of time thinking about how my life could have been different somehow: What if I would have stayed in Arizona? What if I would've moved to New York? What if I had gotten better grades? I should've pursued another career. I could swim in my own sea of 'ifs'.


You may have a lot of 'what ifs' in your lives, too but that's not who you are. You have lived through your past. You've done so many awesome things and maybe it's because you zagged left instead of swerving right. 


You should love who you are today. You could make any change starting right now. You WILL live the life you were meant to live.  


Honor who you are today and stop looking back, you're not going that way.  



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August 28, 2018

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