Perfection is Fear in High Heeled Shoes

March 21, 2018

....and we all know that the devil wears Prada. 


I can't take all the credit for that clever headline because I borrowed it from Elizabeth Gilbert but she could not be more spot on. Perfection is the sugar-coated cousin of fear but make no mistake: It is the wolf in sheep's clothing; the bow on top of the blade; our biggest frenemy. Saying you're a perfectionist is glorified because it screams 'I won't stop until something is perfect.' But it also means, 'if I can't be perfect, why should I start?'




Have you ever had an idea or started something and in the beginning you think "this is amazing - I could do this forever" or "this is the coolest idea and I can't wait to share it with the world" and then DUN DUN DUNNNNN that little bitch Perfection shows up? She starts stomping her pretty little Louboutins all over your amazing ideas. She starts telling you that's not a good enough idea or there's someone way better at it than you. Then you shelve whatever it was that you started and close the lid on your dream jar because you don't think you can do it.


This is a goddamn tragedy and it happens to us all! 


I try to write a lot about self-worth and refining it for yourself so that you can live this unteathered life unattached to the idea of what you 'should' be. I remember times in my life saying that my life would be so much better 'if' - if I was thin. If I had more money. If I had a boyfriend. If I lived in a cool city. 


CLACK. CLACK. CLACK. CLACK. CLACK. Here come those heels of Perfection headed my way. 


This all boils down to fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of what's on the other side. Fear that I may not be good enough. Fear of what others will think. Fear of _____ (fill in your own blank). 


This conjoins our idea of happiness with being perfect so if we can't be perfect then we don't really deserve to be truly happy. Right? 




You don't have to be perfect to be happy but you do have to make a choice to be happy. You have to choose to let go - Elsa style. You have to let go of that space in your head where the perfect idea of yourself exists.  There's no pin drop for Destination: Perfection. It's just a never ending treadmill - you'll always be chasing something unobtainable and then you're going to get really damn tired...


Whatever it is that you're afraid to do - just do it. Try it. If it makes you happy, REALLY happy then it's the right thing to do.


I preach this but but admit that I am a work in progress. I have to work really hard to rewrite those fear narratives that popped a squat in my brain so many years ago. I try to do things that push me from my comfort zone like writing this blog and sharing it with you. I was scared to share it and afraid to open up but I'm so glad I did. I know this is not Pulitzer Prize winning content but who cares? It makes me feel good to share it and my hope it that it makes you feel good, too.


I hope that you'll let go of that of those ideas of perfection that have held you back from whatever it is you wanted to do. It's never too late. 


As the wise Dr. Seuss once said: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” You only have one life - so love your imperfect and beautiful self!  







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August 28, 2018

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