“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.”
Last week I was in Mexico staying at a Four Seasons. A FOUR FUCKING SEASONS! For common folk such as myself it costs a whopping $1200 a night to stay in this hotel where everyone is literally so nice you think as if they are Stepford robots conspiring against you. I drank $30 glasses of champagne and swam in an infinity pool. I lived it up. For full disclosure, I didn't pay for this myself: I earned this trip through a company incentive but I'm sharing this with you for a couple different reasons.
If you flip through my Instagram feed you might see the colorful pictures, lots of traveling and experiences but my life as not always this way. I was neither born lucky or rich - if you were: kudos, friend - if you weren't, then welcome to my 99th percentile!
Five years ago I was $95,000 in debt, fired from my job only to have another job I hated, dating losers, drinking almost every day (boxed wine not $30 glasses of champagne), feeling uninspired and in the thralls of my quarter life crisis. It wasn't pretty. I graduated with starry eyes but after a few years working felt like a daily remembrance of Groundhogs Day. I was doing the same thing every day, rarely challenging myself and devaluing the woman that I am. I felt like it was going to be this way forever. I felt like if I waited long enough in the 'suck' that it would eventually get better. Whatever the opposite of 'woke' is - that was me. I was so unwoke to my life it wasn't even funny.
You might have felt that way in your past or maybe you feel like that right now. That icky stuck feeling. Much of this is not your fault. We hear so much that we need to 'fall before we fly' or 'suffer to know happiness' or 'grind so hard until you make it' - INSERT your own sound bite on how happiness is only earned through struggle. You may even have parents similar to my parents who believe that once you have a job and you make money that it's good enough. In this thought pattern, happiness is not as important as the grind or simply just working to work. It's no fault of their own but that's what their parents taught them. This used to be the American Dream, people. You wake, you work, you die. Somewhere in between you procreate and I'm sure there's a sprinkle of fun thrown in there, too.
Five years ago I quit my job without another job. I didn't know how I'd make money - literally had $300 in my bank account. I was alone. I didn't have a plan but knew my compass was taking me 2,000 miles back home. I packed up my Kia Soul, drove cross country and planned to live in my parents basement until I figured it out.
If you haven't watched Steve Harvey's inspirational rant about jumping PLEASE watch it. I mention this because he says that all great things in life require a 'jump' an act of pure bravery that you sometimes you don't even realize you've done it until your parachute doesn't open. My move home might as well been a rappel into the Grant Canyon. But I jumped. I took a leap of faith. I trusted in the universe and in myself to find the answers. I ended the autopilot of my quarter life and took a gamble on what was next. Somewhere inside of me I believed that I was deserving of all of the things.
I can think of countless moments of small or big jumps that I've made since which have led me to some of the most amazing experiences of my life. It hasn't always been a cake walk but more a cake journey...ok, enough with the cake analogies....I know I have a problem. A journey can wear you out, hurt your feet, take you down unintentional paths but it will also bring you the greatest treasures of life.
Today, my tan is fading from all expense paid trip in Mexico that I never thought was possible. I'm so close to paying off my student loans I can taste it - hopefully victory tastes like a cupcakes - I digress - I'm married to a guy who loves me more than that 24 year old thought she could be loved, I travel as much as my big girl job allows and designed a life of flexibility and fun and adventure.
I felt inspired to write this even with my small number of readers because I have women in my life that tell me everyday how they couldn't do this or that or how lucky I am and they are not but remember this: YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELVES! If I can create this life that five years ago felt like a mirage and become the person I never thought I was or could be - SO CAN YOU!
Maybe it's your mountain or maybe it's your pebble but for god's sake - JUST JUMP*!
*Please don't physically jump - unless of course there's a rope or a trust fall with coworkers you like.
Maybe you've had a jump moment or needing some encouragement on your own jump...share in the comments section or email me! I'd love to hear more stories!